My 1st BFF
5 weeks ago, while sitting on the couch debating if I should try to sleep or keep mindlessly scrolling through social media, I received a text I was expecting someday but certainly not yet. Hi Heidi, it’s Neil.
In therapy we talked about this day a few times. We talked about my worries and concerns about when the day would come but I never had 2024 or how easy it would be on my BINGO card.
I immediately texted my friend Sue because she has been in contact with him since my brother Hale died. The short is that she told him about my 2023 cancer show and I was oblivious to the fact that her holding, or rather withholding, this information from him may of been a big ask. It just never crossed my mind. However, I am extremely grateful she did tell him.
I was planning on giving it a night before responding because I was in the thick of it with work and Gnu’s upcoming surgery. Within an hour I changed my mind. My concern was that opening up to a relationship with him would involve my mother so I proceeded cautiously for all of 3 days. The 1st video chat lasted 2 1/2 hours and from there it has been daily contact. It is hard to put into words the happiness I feel on a daily basis over the last 5 weeks. Almost a light feeling as if something in my life just fell back into place within my heart and I didn’t even realize how much I needed it.
I feel that Neil and I were always close. Not just in age but interests, sports, music etc. We shared a room growing up and would talk or listened to old radio shows when we were supposed to be sleeping. We played together on Saturday morning while our mother was asleep. We saw Santa one year and cried all night worried that we were not going to get any presents because we weren’t asleep when he came. We watched Tom and Jerry together after school until I grew up and thought The Love Boat was cooler.
In hind sight he was my 1st BFF. As we grew up and moved away we still had a great relationship. He went to parties at my house when I was in college in Brookline and was there for my graduation. When I moved to NY he would visit me often and I would go back to Boston for concerts with him. As I started to remember how much fun we had together I hoped that we could get back to that place. The place where everything was lighter and not so hard and free from lies and distrust.
As these last few weeks have passed along, I think we are already there. I have a big ass plan for September and he will be joining in the Type A Fun!! It makes me smile when he sends me lists and tells me about his training. He has already met my close friends thanks to Marco Polo App and we started “fun facts” (this one’s thanks to you Jess!!) where we can attempt to make up for 20 plus years apart by letting the other know something about ourselves the other would have no idea of. To his dismay, I like country music :) :)
So here we go. Starting over at 50 but I look forward to what the rest of our lives together holds for us. I lost my BFF 3 years ago, but she sent me my original one back. Thank you #bff #mine #sbj. Sorry Neil, you may get more than you bargained for hahaha!!
“Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring, quite often the hard way.” – Pamela Dugdale
